Sunday, May 31, 2009

Preface: I'm sorry, but this will not be a funny first post. =P It's a transparent, "katie needed to write a conflict out" post.

Have you ever had a decision to make and prayed for God's will in your life while secretly hoping for one option over the other? 

I did. But His will isn't what I was hoping for at this moment. Honestly, I'm struggling. But He is sovereign. I asked Him for His best for me, and I have to trust that it is on the path He is leading me. 

I can just imagine when I asked Him to have His will done in my life. He scooped me up in His arms and began to walk with me. We traveled a straight path, and I was content. But as soon as we reached a fork in the road, I began to tug on His shirt, begging to go to the left. It was a highway that showcased billboards of ease, money, and security on each side of the road; nothing but dark woods and a small dirt path resided on the right.  He heard my fervent request but shook His head, directing us to the right.
As of right now, we are about to step over the threshold and enter that ominous forest.  I am terrified of the dark, worried about my safety, about how I will manage to emerge unscathed. But why do I forget that I am in the arms of my Father, the Lover of my soul? I am His child, so I have every right to bury my head in His chest and cling tightly to Him. I don't have to fear the darkness around me nor fret over which footpath to follow. I simply need to rest in His arms, listen to His voice sooth me, and praise Him as my Lord, Master, and Father.

*Smiles* I feel better after writing that. No matter if my hips never heal, if my promotion doesn't follow through, if I don't get the IT job at River Falls, if relationships don't work the way I want them to, and if I can't earn the money I think I need, He is still sovereign. Keep me accountable on that. Next time you talk to me ask me if I am still trusting in His faithful provision.
Matt 6....Do not worry...Phil 4....prayer, petition, and peace.